Oh the joys of pregnancy. I feel as if this little angel of a baby is sucking the life out of me day by day, which I am ok with as long as there is still enough life to function on a daily basis. Officially (which is very unofficial for the flakiness of a due date), there are only 31 days until the little miss arrives. Something tells me that she will be as stubborn as a Bonner/Probst (HORRIBLE stubborn combo BTW) and come when only she wants, and from all the horror stories I have heard about induction, I am A-O-K with that! Well, unless of course I go over more than 10 days, then Mama calls the shots!
What I have gathered from this miraculous 9 month production we call “life” is that LynDee Bonner’s body doesn’t do well. Morning sickness, severe rhinitis, asthma, pneumonia, puppp, bleeding, and the nightly average sleep of 2 hours is what I have been able to experience. Every time something else would crop-up with my health, I would always get the “I don’t think I will knock you up again” statement from a concerned Ryan T. And until the last few days I have been ok with that statement. What I have figured is that someone above (the man upstairs), knows what's going on, and what I would like to think, has taken a considerable amount of energy and time to persuade me to learn patience, tolerance, and that life does go on, no matter how many mental break-downs you can have in one day. I’d like to think that those horrible days I would spend 7+ hours in the tub, or days with constant sinus headache, have allowed me to understand that “this too shall pass”, and from what I hear, what is on the receiving end is well worth it.
Some would say (Ryan especially), that I was crazy if I told you I am going to miss being pregnant. Especially since pregnancy and I are somewhat enemies. But, I am going to miss being pregnant! The statement “I can’t wait to be done” has quickly turned into “I am no ready to be done”. Not because I am scared for it to be real, or the reality of parenthood, but I thoroughly enjoy knowing where my little lady is all the time. I love it when she kicks me simultaneously in the rib AND the pelvis at the same time (soooo hoping she has Ryan's long skinny legs). I love knowing she is warm, happy, and healthy at all times. Even when she gets her little hiccups, and continues to have them for hours on end, I find myself giggling, and feeling slightly bad for her, wishing I could make them stop. No one loves the hiccups, no one. I am going to miss feeling her everyday and night, but being able to hold her will be amazing. Time goes too fast.
I am only afraid of how much more it will continue to pass as she is here, and growing. I joke that I will be “that” parent who knocks their child down when they learn to walk, because they are so selfish, they don’t want their baby to grow up. Don’t call DCFS on me, ok?! I really won’t do that… when people are watching. Sometimes I wish life were a DVR, that I could simple press pause, get a snack, go potty, take a breath, and press play only when I am ready.
In the end, my mortal enemy “pregnancy”, has become my favorite things. President Monson says “Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows.” With only 30 more tomorrows, I am going to thoroughly enjoy the rest of this journey.
What a great attitude you have! And it is so fun to read now, knowing you are bringing your sweet little June into the world right now! So fitting that you wrote this yesterday!
ReplyDeleteYes of course you wrote this the day before June arrived!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. Kind of cryptic knowing all that has happened in the last couple of weeks though, isn't it? Love that sweet baby of yours.
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